To Do List

Yesterday was CD1 as I expected.  I am now glad I did not take the BCP before my mock cycle!

I emailed my consultant and she provided me with the clinic's mock cycle protocol which consists of inactive and active BCPs and then a scan to measure my lining on the 20th at which point the protocol may be adjusted before the next scan on the 30th.  I have to say I have enjoyed not doing the injectables involved in an IUI cycle.  I guess "enjoyed" isn't the right word.  More like appreciated not having to do them.  And relieved.

I have been keeping a mental list of things I need to complete before my trip, with the hope that should I return with a bfp, these things would be done and I could relax and *somewhat* enjoy the next 8 months or so.  The first item was to shampoo all the carpets in my apartment and buy a new sofa.  I was not looking forward to that cost or the work involved.  In a very bizarre turn of events, some of my furniture was damaged by rodents (I know, it sounds gawd-awful but I live in an old duplex apartment owned by people who do not maintain their property) so my landlord agreed to pay to have the entire place shampooed and I found a new sofa & free chair on C.raigslist.  It worked out so well and although that weekend was a logistical challenge, finding someone to haul the old stuff to the dump and then transport the new stuff to my place, it's done and I love the new-to-me furniture and my clean carpets!

Another little project involved my backyard which I have really let go in the last couple of years.  I had quite a junk heap growing by the side of my apt. which included a large tub full of water and from what I could see, baby mosquitoes.  Today I spent most of the afternoon cleaning up the yard, weeding, pruning, sweeping and most satisfying of all, dumping.  It needs more work to be the beautiful garden I once had, but it will do for now.

Also on my to do list...lose the pounds I had piled on during my ttc cycles.  I've never been exactly svelte but I was once down to a weight I felt good at.  I wanted to lose these 18lbs before leaving for my trip.  I'm at -11lb now and doubt I'll lose 7 more before the second week of September but I'm not complaining.  Er, maybe I will just a little.   It's been very difficult to lose that weight!!!!!   I don't know if it's my age or where the weight is on my body but it's been a real struggle.  I've been doing my B.ar M.ethod classes 4-5x a week and walking the others days and using the MyF.itness P.al every day (now at 90 days straight!) but I'll be damned if it hasn't taken precision measuring and constant focus to lose this weight.  I realize (and hope) I may be losing to just gain it, and more, back but I have never worked this hard to see such small progress.

Other items on my list, which will not get done I'm afraid, include replacing my car windshield (giant crack that I could have prevented if I had fixed the small chip), painting my bathroom, cleaning my oven and fridge and organizing my linen closet.  There just hasn't been the time.

I am now in the busiest time of the year at work.  It's going to be constant until 4 days before i leave.  I think this is a good thing for it will keep my mind busy and my anxiety focused on something tangible.  At some points during my day though, or when I am standing at my sink washing dishes, or driving on the freeway, I think about what I am doing, what I've been through and what my future may look like and I feel like a character in a book.  Who IS this person I've become?  I hope by the time all is said and done I look back and feel comfortable with my decisions and proud of my efforts.  Right now though I feel like I'm living someone else's life!