This fet cycle is eleventy billion times more stressful than the fresh donor cycle. At my scan appointment last week my RE measured my lining at 3.1 and said she felt I could move right into the fet cycle. I was giddy with relief as she wrote out my treatment schedule and as I left the front desk after making my next scan appointment I thought about what I had to do at home and work to prepare for an fet in late February. As usual I relayed the appointment results to my American consultant along with a picture of my newly slim uterus.
The CZ RE was not as impressed and rejected the plan. This has happened before and it's beyond frustrating. I don't want to pick apart the clinic at this point because as a patient I feel I owe it, and the doctor there, some loyalty. I made this choice and have to abide by this RE's treatment plan. And so I will.
However, the delay, the new plan, the new timeline, the different med regime, it has all just chipped away a little bit more of my sanity, my (illusion of) control and my hope that this emotional pain and this physical "abnormality", for lack of a better word, will always be a part of my life.
The new plan has an fet around the third week of March. I can't help but feel any chance of a 2013 baby is slipping away. I hate that I think that way because the goal of this whole blasted thing is not on the same plane as a date or an age or a financial sum, logically thinking that is. I've long since lost much of my logical thinking skills and pretty much function on pure emotion now. I hope it's due to the meds and is not the 'new me'.