I was cleaning out my email inbox yesterday, which is very time consuming as I rarely delete my emails, and came across a PayPal payment for a reading to a "conception psychic". I felt my ears and face grow hot when the memory of drinking a bit too much Kahlua and cream one night right around the New Year came back to me. It doesn't take much to make me loopy but I think I was extra sensitive to alcohol that night as I was grappling with the realization I would not/could not move forward with my own eggs.
I don't remember how I found the psychic but I notice the charge was only $7 so at the time I probably thought it was a great investment. Nothing in the reading seems to relate to me, except for maybe the part about being disappointed (who hasn't been?). I chuckled at her worry about my "partner" and I think her vision of me having PCOS is probably based on the picture I apparently sent (more ear and face burning). Hey lady, don't you know fertility meds, taken for months on end, lead to a bit of chubbiness? Humpf.
Anyway, this find in my inbox reminds me of where I was just a few months ago. Although the Kahlua might have softened the edges that night, I can now almost immediately touch that familiar place of pain and desperation. I don't think I'll ever lose those feelings but now I can also see how I have moved through it and on to a hopefully more positive place.
At this point it's too painful to take the entire walk down memory lane and proclaim "it was all worth it", but embarrassment aside, I'm feeling ok about about the last few months (mind you not "ok" enough to forgo digging through all emails from that time period to see who else I had sent my hard earned money to!).
For your entertainment...my reading:
I hope this reading finds you happy and healthy. I also appreciate your patience.
When I connect with you, I sense passion and discouragement. I feel you are very apprehensive on your ttc journey. I feel at times you feel it will never happen. I feel with each cycle, you and your partner at times don’t know what to say anymore when it is a BFN. I also feel partner took miscarriage harder than you thought he would. He too is apprehensive and worried. I do see a positive cycle ahead. I see some good cycles for ttc. I feel it is part of your destiny to be a mom. I feel there will be more than one child. I see 2 in total.
As far as fertility, I feel you may have PCOS. I sense issues with ovulation. I feel as though tubes are open and uterus is healthy. I feel you have tried fertility meds and they do get you to ovulate. I do feel you need IUI or IVF in order to conceive. Is there any issue with partner??
I see March as the month to conceive or find out. I see a boy. I do feel it will be an IVF cycle. I feel you will some fatigue prior to testing, and will just “know” you are pregnant. I do sense some morning sickness at the start, but feel medications from cycle may make you feel “yucky.” I feel you will have nausea and heartburn throughout pregnancy, and I don’t see a lot of weight gain due to food aversion. I see a healthy pregnancy. Keep your feet up when you rest; I see some swelling in ankles.
I feel you will go full term. I see a smooth delivery and a vaginal delivery. J
"$7-richer psychic lady"