May 14, 2011
My Ticket is Punched
A day 2 ultrasound is never a pleasant experience but I was able to laugh about the awkwardness of it all. I told told the NP, "dignity be damned, bring on LaWanda!". Aside from my ever present 30mm paratubal cyst on the left side all looks good and I am cleared to begin again. My protocol this cycle so far is 1 Lupron, 3 Bravelle and 2 Menopur beginning on day 4 (Monday) and another scan on Thursday with an IUI on Friday or Saturday. I am starting day 4 as opposed to day 3 because I am prone to hyperplasia and I need to "bleed a bit more", which in any other situation would have sent me running down the hall like this. Seriously, two years ago I would have just about tossed my cookies at most of this stuff. But now? Meh, it's all included in the price of admission.
This is the exact same protocol from the last cycle which produced five eggs and gave me a BFP. I am ok with doing the same thing again for the first time back and I am certainly not a big fan of OHSS which the poor Infertile Gynecologist is beginning to experience. Dr. Conceivable doesn't work on Saturday but I'll see her Thursday and perhaps she will change things up as she alluded to in our last chat.
I came home fully intending to be an energetic and productive person.
What did I do instead? Um, well, fell asleep on my love seat. I never do this because my love seat is only 5'. I am 5'10" and can never fully recline on it, I more like drape myself over one of the arms. Anyway, I fell fast asleep and awoke 3 hours later to find I had bled all over the place, through two protective covers and down to the cushion. I was so out of it I never woke up! Ugh. I felt like back when I was a young teenager, not quite used to this monthly hygiene issue. Oh, and I should mention that upon waking and cleaning up I happened to catch a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror. Talk about a carnival show!! I looked like a wild woman (thankfully minus the snakes and bare bosom) with my hair practically on end and my clothes all askew.
I guess this beginning again took more out of me than I realized. The waiting time after my loss has been extremely stressful and I think I am now feeling the results of that as well as the usual anxiety that comes along with any ART cycle.
I plan to begin blogging more regularly. I've been in one of Dante's lesser known circles of hell, one that many fertility-challenged 41 year old (single) women can relate to. When stressed, my natural inclination is to self isolate. This behavior just adds more stress and anxiety. And so on and so on.
I've been missing the support of my blogging friends. I realize I need it. Besides, have you ever had fun at the carnival all by your lonesome?