September 6, 2012


Looks like I am going to miss tonight's big speech.  I'll be enjoying a D&C instead.  Went in for a CD4 scan this morning to see how thin my lining is.  7 is not thin enough to move forward so my RE is going to do a mini D&C tonight.  Is the stable ovarian cyst I've had for over a year just now deciding to kick into gear?  Is the 2cm paratubal cyst I've had since birth choking off something?  Is it the hyperplasia?  My RE doesn't know but God bless her heart, she's leaving her clinic and going to hospital OR to give my ute a gentle scraping tonight.

As I lay there on the table this morning, looking at the screen, I felt utterly discouraged, angry, sad and bitter.  I should know by now not to expect things to work smoothly or at all for me.  I hate falling into that way of thinking but that's where my mind slid.

I quickly refocused and talked thru all of the possible scenarios with my RE.  She ordered blood work, which I had done directly after the scan and will have me see her colleague tomorrow morning for another scan to see where I'm at.  The plan is if tomorrow's scan is fine then I can start the estrogen and then the C.etrotide shortly after.  My body seems to be in hyperdrive, all bursting with readiness to pump out a crappy egg.  She is going to try to stop this cycle and make the time I have left work so I can get enough estrogen in me in time for the transfer.

I will have to pop over to the CZ on the 14th to get a scan at the clinic which I won't mind.  It's not that far from Budapest.  Now, at this point, I just have to let go.  I went to work thinking I would not make it through the day.  It's the last day before my big project kicks off tomorrow and Saturday.  Not sure how I'm going to bounce back from a D&C and hit the floor running tomorrow.  I guess if I can get thru even this, I just may deserve some good fortune.  Is that how it works?

I called my consultant and she was ever calming and helpful.  I'll let her know what the results of the blood draw and D&C are tonight and then I'll pick up with the estrogen tomorrow. Right now I am two days behind schedule.  I hope I can make up this time.  I hope this works.  I hope for a lot of things, but really, I just hope for a fair shake at things.  I knew going into DE IVF abroad there would be bumps along the way but this would have happened where ever I had IVF done.  It makes me mad.  It makes me hungry too.  I haven't been able to eat or drink all day.

I bet my RE had better things to do tonight.  I know I did.


  1. I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this right now. Stress on top of stress on top of stress...

    I'll be keeping you in my thoughts. I hope everything goes well tonight and that there are no more major bumps in the road before your IVF. You really do deserve to have something go right.


  2. Oh, wow.

    FWIW, I started estrogen at least several days behind schedule and had absolutely no problem producing a good lining. I think most REs probably build in a cushion.

    I'm thinking of you.

  3. Well, crap.

    The good news is that you have an amazingly wonderful RE.

    I hope it goes well tonight - check in with us tomorrow!

  4. This sucks! I hope you are able to get back on schedule quickly. Sending lots of love!!!

  5. You very much deserve some good fortune! I hope things went well last night & that you're doing ok today...sending positive thoughts your way.