March 28, 2011

Putting on My Bear Face

Courtesy of Google Images

Have you seen this guy????  Bear Gryll.s is a 36 year old British survivalist and adventurer.  He has his own tv show, Man vs. Wild,  is a former UK British Forces member, Mt. Everest climber and all around general bad ass.

The premise of his show is that he's dumped off a helicopter into inhospitable environments like the Moab Desert, Panama and Siberia and expected to survive until this appointed pick up time.  Between the jump off and pick up points this man experiences some of the most horrific and difficult situations imaginable.  He'll do just about anything to survive, even if that means climbing inside a dead bloated camel to avoid a desert wind storm, eating an al dente poisonous snake, drinking his own urine and wrestling a crocodile.   (Note: there's been some controversy  that his show is not all that it's cracked up to be, that Bear has "help" making the situations seems more dangerous than they really are, but I tend to think that even if half of this stuff is true, this guy is a contender for the Chuck Norris Award for Testicular Fortitude.)

While listening to the last day of the 2011 Fertility Summit I watched a marathon of old  Man vs. Wild episodes.  It seemed fitting to me, to listen to struggles of guest bloggers Katie, From IF to When, Elphaba from Yolk...a Blog About Eggs and Sperm and Heather from Survive and Thrive, who have all struggled so much in their journeys, while watching Bear chop through the jungle with a machete, all muddied up, gnawing on a freshly killed anaconda-ish snake and picking leeches off of his legs.  While of course I am not comparing the two struggles on equal planes, one is entertainment, the other much more personal, I am noting the similarities of the motivation to struggle and ultimately survive, to work so hard towards a goal and do whatever if takes to succeed.  

As I reflect on my survivalist actions thus far in this journey I marvel at my ability to have done it at all.  After my own "jump off point" I've done the following:
  • endured countless blood tests
  • exposed the business end of my reproductive system to scads of healthcare professionals
  • undergone surgery
  • had dye shot into my sensitive lady bits
  • had my ute flooded with saline
  • looked forward to seeing La Wanda (on day 3 no less!)
  • injected myself with vials of reconstituted drugs
  • popped Cooter Shooters (my pet name for Prometrium) in public restrooms
  • used the handicap stall without shame to do a trigger shot (I needed the baby changing table!)
  • walked around an urban city with a tank of frozen sperm
  • walked into a busy waiting room with above mentioned tank of sperm to sign in for appointments
  • experienced the joy and subsequent deep soul shaking sorrow of a loss
Not exactly weathering the environs of North Borneo, but hell's bells, I've been living my own little survivalist show here!

And I'm not giving up yet.

Two weeks ago I never imagined I'd make it through all the days until now.  It's been awful.  Really awful. 

However, I have regrouped.  I have recommitted myself to achieving my dream of becoming a mother and squared my shoulders to do whatever I need to do next.  

Game on Bear!


  1. I so hope your days ahead are full of sunshine and goodness. I am sorry for your losses.

  2. Someone told me, after our first loss, that "you are stronger than you think you are". They didn't know the half of it.
    And while you are going through the next round (and hopefully THE round), we'll be here, rooting for you.

  3. thatta girl! (or however you say that) :)

  4. Many thanks for your post, I loved it. Lets hope you don't have to take too many more survivalist actions!
    By the way, how heavy is sperm tank? Is it the sort of thing I would need help to put in my car, and get into down the hallway to the elevator etc? I had been thinking about doing an extra insemination at home!

  5. Trust me, Bear's got nothin' on you. So sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you square those shoulders!!!

  6. Actually, the tank isn't all that heavy. You would probably have no problem carrying it out to your car and into your house. The type my bank uses is about 2.5 feet tall and shaped like a lunar rocket. It has a metal loop handle that makes it somewhat easy to carry. I'd say it weighs 15-20lbs. I've nicknamed all the tanks I've used "Frank".