Winning or Failing

I was going to do a "Thankful Thursday" post but after reading SIF last night it made me think of "owning" the parts of my life for which I am thankful.  I found the word "winning" to be very empowering (thanks SIF!), like I was actually doing something rather than being passively thankful for things that happen to me.

Although the "failing" parts of my ttc journey are still agonizingly present, for now, for this moment, I consider myself WINNING (cue clapping and cheering) in the following ways:

• To date I have made it back to work 4 days.  They may have been half days and I may have been in a fog but I did it.  This was such a hard step.  
• I took a walk and it felt wonderful.
• I emailed my gyn and asked for a counseling referral.  
• I've begun to eat again.  For days after I found out my baby had died I could not eat.  I associated it with the joy I had previously felt for eating mindfully for the baby.  I just could not perform the function of putting the food in my mouth.  Last night I had a decent meal.  It too was wonderful.

All of these things I did for myself.  In this battle I call that winning.