April 3, 2011

Dear Family Members

To the family members who said, "You brought this on yourself", "It's only your first pregnancy", "You're taking this too hard" and "Miscarriage happens all the time" when I told them about my loss...go fuck yourselves.

I cut these family members out of my life about a year ago because I knew they were toxic and I was unable to keep up with things going on in my life and also be involved in their chaotic lives.  I had only recently reconnected with them (before I became pregnant).

I had already worked through my feelings about removing myself from the family dynamics and making a life with minimal contact or none at all.  The recent developments were shocking but but also provided closure and confirmation.  In one way it's refreshing to hear how they really feel, as opposed to feeling uncomfortable because I had been picking up on strange vibes for several months before I originally stopped contact.  I now know I was picking up real vibes and I now know where they stand.

What's ironic is that the direct quotes above came from my cousin, herself a single mom, pregnant by her best friend's brother (not telling the father or BFF about the baby) who does not work, lives at home with her parents and obviously has a control issue, besides being the family tyrant.

I debated about posting this for fear that someone who knows me IRL might see it although I've only told a couple of my friends about this weird family issue.  I think getting the ugly facts of the situation out of my head is very important.

P.S. dear family members...seriously, go fuck yourselves.


  1. I'm so sorry your family is being so asinine. Those comments are unbelievable.

  2. "You brought this on yourself"??? WTF? I'm so sorry - as if losing a child wasn't awful enough without that kind of idiocy.

  3. I'm so sorry that your family members are so unsupportive, especially when you feel you may need love & support the most. It's probably the right thing to distance yourself from them if they can't be there for you in the way you need them to be but it's unfair that you have to do that and even more hurtful as you go through a rough journey.

    Hope your blogging community can be there for you in a more meaningful way!


  4. I'm pissed off for you. What wretched people.

  5. The very best family often does not share our DNA. <3 Wishing you the very best.

  6. AMEN! so glad you could get it out of your system!!!

  7. I'm sorry that your family has said these cruel things to you. I'm glad you realize they are crazy. Hugs to you!

  8. I'm so sorry about your family. Hugs to you.

  9. Good for you! What an awful thing to say..especially coming from your family, regardless of your relationship with them.

    What a nice release to just let them go..